Mr Mann
Mike Mann '''often buys things from Roy's shops, which changes theme every episode. But he wants something very specific which often annoys Roy. When Roy can't find the object he will ask his limb-less wife, Margaret, who lives upstairs, if they have any in stock. If Roy finds the object Mr Mann wants then Mr Mann will add some other small detail which '''must be required for him to buy it. When he actually gets the item he is looking for he becomes disappointed, showing that it was more to do with annoying Roy than buying anything. Roy Roy owns a different shop each episode, the shop is never named though. Each shop has a different theme and has to put up with Mr Mann's picky shopping type. He has grown to hate and really despise Mr Mann and often snaps back at Mr Mann after being such an annoying customer, and also says things like "Get out or I will strangle you" or "I hate you so much". In Little Britain Abroad, he owns a Middle-Eastern shop and speaks Arabic. Margaret Margaret is Roy's limb-less (revealed in Season 2, Episode 3) wife who lives upstairs and is never seen. Despite her hardly ever coming down to the actual shop, she seems to know the shop better than Roy does, knowing where everything is and the price of everything in the shop. Her suggestions aren't usually ever bought by Mr Mann. Also, for no apparent reason, she is rather slow to react as when Roy calls her, there is usually a 5 second break until she answers. Mr. Mann's Requests Series 1 *A pirate memory game which must: **be for children aged 4-8 **be 'not too piratey' **be no more than £4.80 Series 2 *A date with a lady which must: **be called Linda Williams (his second favourite, his favourite is Catherine Drew but he claims that at his time of life he can't afford to *be picky) **be aged 38-39 **have some height **not be bald **shoulder length hair **have a glass eye He is willing to go on a date with a Linda Willis if she changes her name. When asked to go on a date with a Lindsay Williams he says "Absolutely no way". *A film which must: **Star Chevy Chase and Rick Moranis as two cops who go undercover as rappers to stop a drug deal **End with a scene where they have to take part in a rap competition **Be certificate 15 He doesn't know if the film really exists but he will wait (in the shop) until it is made. *A birthday card for a 65 year-old man who: **Hates dogs **Hates cats **Hates cartoon frogs **Likes single-celled organisms like amoebas **Likes the C-word Roy said that he doesn't have a card with the C-word but Mr Mann said he will write it in. *A book which must: **Be about Medieval English music between 1356-1390 **Must be 306 pages long Roy had a book about Medival English music between 1356-1390 but it was 312 pages long, not 306. Roy said he could rip out 6 pages but Mr Mann said he wouldn't buy a damaged book. Mr Mann suggests that the author could rewrite the book, possibly removing all the o's in the book to lose 6 pages. Then Mr Mann asks for all the books in the shop but later claims he was blind. but when Roy waves at him to test if he really is blind Mr Mann calmly waves back, proving he is not really blind but attempting to agitate Roy. *A record which must: **Be by James Last playing the hits of Nelly Furtado on the banjo **Have a picture on the cover of James Last holding out his hands showing a stigmata **Have the sleeve notes done by Dr Graeme Garden Strangely, Roy had this record so Mr Mann, reluctantly, bought it. Series 3 *A painting which must: **Be of be of a horse which is disappointed because it recieved bad news **Not be of a horse which was perturbed, had it's expectations not yet fulfilled or had a flicker of hope **Not be of a vexed kitten but he would consider a irked kitten In the end he bought a painting of a displeased owl but he didn't like it so much because he thought it was more disillusioned than displeased but decided to keep it after Roy threatened to strangle him if he didn't leave. *A magazine which must: **Be about problem feet **Be out of Bad Feet Monthly, Athlete's Foot Times, Veruca Today, What Bunion, Ingrown Toenail Weekly **Not be Celebrity Callus Monthly because he already had this magazine **Not be Foot and Ankle Pain Bonanza because he is only intrested in foot pain, even though he dosn't actually suffer from foot pain He then asks for Hello! which Roy gets for him but Mr Mann says he was simply saying "Hello!" to the magazine on the shelf. *A costume which must: **Be of the comedian David Baddiel Mr Mann then gets Rory McGrath's jumper, Martin Clunes' chinos, Sanjeev Bhaskar's espadrilles and Terry Waite's beard. When in the costume Mr Mann was played by Baddiel himself, miming to the line "Nothing like him!". *A pot of paint that is: *White in black. *Grey with a bit of bluey-redness *Purple that is not purple if you follow *Maroon lacks maroonity *brown in pink **This was not actually used in Season 3, just used in Behind the Scenes and in the Live Show. Catchphrases *"In my time of life you can't afford to be too picky." **'Roy:'"I don't know what to suggest! Margaret will know. MARGARET! MARGARET!" **Long Pause Margaret: "...Yes?" **'Roy: '''There's a gentleman here who... (insert item here) **'Mr Mann''': "It's okay, I'll wait. (*heavy breathing*)" Category:Characters